At War...With Me

By I.M. Ulysses

Time goes by slowly
And yesterday's lost
Yet I remained haunted
By this demon host

Upon me they come
These souls now forsaken
From the ashes of death
The lives I have taken

I thought they were dead
Long lost in the past
But they are still here
And my spirit's downcast

They strike in the night
In depths of the eve
As I dream of those days
That I long to see

It is two and seven
A decade and more
Since the battle commenced
That started the war

But how can I fight
What cannot be reached
Nor win against that
Which cannot be breached

My heart thus turns
To that holy ground
Where once I believed
My God could be found

Father I cry
Forget me not this day
That I came unto you
And begged for a way

From a whisper of wind
And a gentle snow fall
I look up to Heaven
And hear God's angel call

I spoke to the Lord
She says unto me
Your destiny's safe
And you shall be free

Safe in His arms
He'll dry all your tears
In the land of your birth
And restore the lost years

Armed with His word
I return to the fight
Only to find
No demon in sight

I gasp in my wonder
At the foe I can't find
When I realize then
That those demons were mine

They fall upon me
In moments unseen
When I think of the lives
I could not redeem

If only I'd been
A far greater man
I might have saved some
From satan's vile hand

This is the battle
That has vexed my soul
And will till the day
That God sends me home

For now though I pray
And seek His release
Knowing that I'm
Still at war....with me